A Soldier With A Syndrome

"The only person I'm trying to
impress is myself"
- Johnny Rotten

Email: EmilyWeeda@gmail.com

“ I used to be afraid of the dark, when you’re six years old a shadowed bedroom can seem as terrifying as the nightsky must have been to ancient man and those things said to go bump in the night can feel just as real. I’d imagine something was hiding in the dark corners of my room, a monster or a ghost and I’d bolt upright in bed terrified screaming for my mother. Eventually I grew up got over it and learned that if I could just hang on the sun would always rise again. But then everything changed, then the night, dark came to me in something different that the turn was coming. So then the childish night terrors came right back, because now I’m one of those things that go bump. Being human

“ One of the worst parts of dying was that split second that it hit me, mom and dad aren’t going to save me from this. I closed my eyes hoping that it was a bad dream, that mom would wake me up but instead I woke up into this. You don’t realize until its too late what your parents did to protect you from the truth. Our parents read us fairy tales thinking they’ll never have to explain that they aren’t real, thinking that they’ll be dead and gone before reality hits but blood is forever. 20, 30, 300 years down the line we still need a hand to reach for in the dark. Being human

“ At the end of the day all any of us wants is to feel good. And whether its long wet kiss on a dark night or a needle in the arm, it’ll naw at you until you give in, until you let yourself feel good again. There is nothing else in the world that feels better than giving in to your inner monster. Every monster has their own version of an addiction, it’s written into our nature. We need the blood, the strength, the power. But the curse of us with darker urges is that when we let the cravings inside us take over, someone else pays the price. And when a monster sets sail for rock bottom there’s no telling what destruction he’ll leave in his wake. Being human

“ Freedom is just a pretty way of saying that you’ve gone off the grid. For better or for worse you’re out of options. But we call it freedom and write songs about it, you probably crank them in your car, never thought about it much. Some people think it’s exhilarating not having your future mapped out, others start to drown in all that nothing. Maybe you’ll enjoy for a moment that purity of doing what you want when you want. Beer for breakfast, sex in the afternoon, but obligations sneak up, duty, moral code. Some of us are wired to put ourselves back in the cages. Freedom is just that moment of calm before the dread sets in. Because no matter what you freed yourself from, you only get so far down the open road. Car windows down music blasting before you are forced to take a turn, make a choice, and sentence yourself to the next adventure. Being Human